my body, and how it’s not shaped the way i think it is
good afternoon, time for some gender blah blah
Step 225: Get married for the right reasons
Y’all. Y’all. It’s time for a Very Special Guest Entry, because Sarah, of Yes and Yes, has weighed in on something of terrific importance.
In case you’re not familiar with Yes and Yes, it’s like this blog, except funnier, more consistent and with better travel tips. Recently, Sarah released the Post-College Survival Kit; this entry is but one star in that glittering galaxy. Highly recommended. Anyway. Sarah?
So you’ve been with your lover/partner/girl/boyfriend for a few years. You live together, you attend company barbecues together, you wear sweatpants in each others’ company. Everybody you know is getting married, and now you kind of want to. But your mister/miss isn’t that keen. A few steps to sort that business out.
1. Have a good think about why you want to get married
Are you ready to start a family? Do you need concrete evidence that they’re committed to building a future with you? Are all your friends getting married?
If all your friends are getting married, have a really, really, REALLY big think before you start pressuring your partner. Almost everything in life is socially contagious and if all your friends are walking down the aisle, it’s easy to swept up in the wedding fever. How would you feel about marriage if none of your friends were married?
It’s also worth noting that if you’re living together, that’s pretty good evidence that they’re committed to you and a future with you. Unless you moved in together mostly for financial and convenience reasons. Thaaaat’s a whole different post.
Sir Terry Pratchett, The Daily Mail (U.K.), June 21, 2008 (via nonplussedbyreligion)
I know your feels, bro.
Happy Endings by Margaret Atwood
John and Mary meet.
What happens next?
If you want a happy ending, try A.
John and Mary fall in love and get married. They both have worthwhile and remunerative jobs which they find stimulating and challenging. They buy a charming house. Real estate values go up. Eventually, when they can afford live-in help, they have two children, to whom they are devoted. The children turn out well. John and Mary have a stimulating and challenging sex life and worthwhile friends. They go on fun vacations together. They retire. They both have hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging. Eventually they die. This is the end of the story.
Mary falls in love with John but John doesn’t fall in love with Mary. He merely uses her body for selfish pleasure and ego gratification of a tepid kind. He comes to her apartment twice a week and she cooks him dinner, you’ll notice that he doesn’t even consider her worth the price of a dinner out, and after he’s eaten dinner he fucks her and after that he falls asleep, while she does the dishes so he won’t think she’s untidy, having all those dirty dishes lying around, and puts on fresh
Pop-punk is for pudgy self-haters. Hardcore sucks worse than it did 10 years ago, which seemed impossible at the time. Punk is now Green Day. Indie rock is the new Ke$ha. Chillwave is for former swoop-hair kids who’ve aged out of their scene. Shoegaze is the new jazz music, meaning people only pretend to like it. Bands with earnest, gruff vocals are the new swoop-hairbands. Everything you like really truly sucks.
Do you know what all the sentences above have in common? Besides the fact that they’re true, I mean. Can’t guess? OK, here’s what links those ideas:
You shouldn’t care. You shouldn’t validate them by arguing. You should ignore them completely.
There’s only one thing worse in this whole world than a misguided nerd, and that’s an apologetic one. You like what you like. You should always be looking to expand your palate but, at the end of the day, you can’t force it.
If you’re into Saves The Day, you’re into it. There’s no need to put on airs or dress it up. And if you like ignorant mosh music, it’s just part of your DNA. You’ll probably always like it. Don’t hide your Hatebreed lyric tattoos. Maybe you still dye your hair colors not found in nature. Don’t hide your Mindless Self Indulgence tattoo. Or that ICP hatchetman logo on your ankle.
Here’s the thing. As lame as everything I listed at the beginning of this essay is, the stuff people believe to be cool is just as corny. Hardcore kids want to be indie rockers; indie rockers want to be house DJs. Someone put it in their heads that they should always be chasing cool. It’s all a crock. There is no “cool.” It just doesn’t exist. Chasing it makes you uncomfortable in your own skin and paints you as an insecure clown to the rest of the world.
I’m confident everything you like sucks. I know it. But there is not a reason in the world you should care about my opinion. There’s no reason you should value ANY person’s opinion over what your ears tell you. Never change for the guy at the record store, the geek in a popular band, or some faceless blog. Don’t bother defending your position. Just like what you like. Patrick Kindlon, Alternative Press (via cantseecalifornia)
Jesus was a Middle-Eastern Jewish man who advocated for the seperation of church and state, pacifism, free healthcare, and reform. Frankly, I’m surprised he’s so popular among conservatives.
He also hung out with prostitutes and prisoners, immigrated illegally, didn’t speak English, frowned upon laissez faire capitalism, and advocated love and acceptance for all. Oh and he wore what by modern standards we’d pretty much call dresses and Berkenstocks.
This reminds me of when a journalist was talking to Tori Amos about being very religious as a kid and she was like “yeah, still a huge fan of Jesus, he’s pretty much the perfect man.”
- Asian American actor John Cho (Harold & Kumar, Star Trek) discussing the intersection of acting and Asian American identity at the Yale University Asian American Cultural Center’s annual celebration of Asian Pacific-American Heritage Month. (via racebending)
“BUT OMG RACE DOESN’T MATTER GUIZ. STOP MAKING IT ABOUT RACE. IT’S MESSED UP TO THINK YOU CAN’T RELATE TO A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DON’T LOOK LIKE YOU. PERSONALITY »» RACE AND LOOKS GUIZ!”
I sometimes can’t get the logic of people, especially those who have the privilege to see an array of characters that represent them physically in media, say that kind of shit to people who don’t.
Dear John Cho, marry/babysit me.