Sunday, April 14, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Tris: “I was reading.”
Sandry: “You’re always reading. The only way people can ever talk to you is to interrupt.”
Tris: “Then maybe they shouldn’t talk to me.
Tamora Pierce -Briar’s Book (via akatriel-rowanborn)
your feels are my exact feels
Monday, March 11, 2013
I was worried that the scar above my eye was really noticeable, so I took a picture to see if it was. But really, what with my flawless skin and rosy cheeks and long eyelashes, you can hardly see it!
Amy, being modest.
inconsistent font choices: the powerpoint
long story short,
- in the event that you do read “lolita”
- read the foreword
- and the afterword
- consider context and intent
- get the annotated version if u want
- and pay attention to the text.
There’s an episode in the first or second season of SVU where Dolores murders HH’s creepy ass. Yes good.
Also read the foreword because it’s where the resolution of the plot actually punches you in the gut.
i don’t tend to read forewords because i don’t want to start a book with someone else’s feelings about a book, but i guess i’ll do that o_o
mind you i’m not 100% confident i actually FINISHED lolita? like the last thing i remember is her being pregnant and humbert being all “she looks too grown up my boner is wilting :(“
i have genuinely used people’s feelings about lolita as a barometer for whether i want to have anything to do with them like:
DO YOU THINK HUMBERT HUMBERT IS A CREEPY PEDO RAPIST AND THAT WHAT HE DID WAS UNJUSTIFIED AND UNJUSTIFIABLE? PLEASE SELECT FROM THE FOLLOWING:
- FUCK YES
- I AM NOT WELCOME IN YOUR HOUSE SO I’M GOING TO AWKWARDLY LEAVE NOW
The foreword isn’t actually a foreword to the novel, it’s a foreword to Humbert’s ‘memoir’ — it’s part of the story, and tells you what happens to the characters later, if you read it carefully and take into account the last scenes of Humbert’s stuff which is, yes, the pregnancy bit. Pay attention to names and to publication stipulations in both sections.
OH MY GOD YES. I have talked to so many clueless dickwattles who think that Humbert was seduced by Lo, and all I offer them in response is this quote:
“There was the day, during our first trip- our first circle of paradise- when in order to enjoy my phantasms in peace I firmly decided to ignore what I could not help perceiving, the fact that I was to her not a boy friend, not a glamour man, not a pal, not even a person at all, but just two eyes and a foot of engorged brawn- to mention only mentionable matters. There was the day when having withdrawn the functional promise I had made her on the eve (whatever she had set her funny little heart on- a roller rink with some special plastic floor or a movie matinee to which she wanted to go alone), I happened to glimpse from the bathroom, through a chance combination of mirror aslant and door ajar, a look on her face… that look I cannot exactly describe… an expression of helplessness so perfect that it seemed to grade into one of rather comfortable inanity just because this was the very limit of injustice and frustration- and every limit presupposes something beyond it- hence the neutral illumination.”
It’s cloaked in Humbert’s self-obsessed bullshit, as usual, but it’s there. He knows exactly what he’s doing to her. He knows he is hurting her, that she is miserable, that she’s gone beyond the point of being able to process what’s happening to her, and can only try to negotiate some kind of reward or compensation for the fact that she’s being kidnapped and raped by her stepfather. Yeah, Humbert buys her dresses and takes her places, and yes, Lo demands those things in exchange for sexual favours. Because she is twelve, and she cannot get away from him, and she knows that. What else can she fucking do?
That one passage affected me more than any other in the book. She is not seducing him. He is not her lover. She is fucking trapped.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
i have the dumb
*plays Myra's "Miracles Happen," a song from The Princess Diaries soundtrack*
Did she ever have another song?
No. Neither did the girl who sang the Supergirl song with the piano. Maybe she was too busy fighting Aquaman and Jimmy Olsen for that pitcher of water in the desert.
Oh, man, was it a PIC...
... WERE YOU ABOUT TO ASK IF SUPERMAN WAS HOLDING A *PICTURE* OF WATER?
YES. I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT THAT IS A REALLY PROFOUND SURREALIST STATEMENT FOR SUPERMAN.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
still still watching ahs
Amy: See, this is why I hate the word “drama.” People use it in inappropriate circumstances, like when your whole family is killed in a haunted house.
Monday, January 28, 2013
while hatewatching satc2
I wonder if Jay-Z is ashamed that one of his songs is in this film.
I doubt it, he probably loves Sex and the City.
He's a total Miranda.
Monday, January 14, 2013
I am taken aback by how much I like Adam Levine. Like, I find myself Googling pictures of him, not because I think he’s nice to look upon, but because I like to see he’s doing well. I want to think he’s having a nice day.
Amy’s review of the “YOLO” video
Monday, January 7, 2013
sexy lesbians doing things
Hug me tight, hug me tight- hey, no, don't unhook my bra!
YOU'RE SO BOSSY. "Do this, do that, don't unhook my bra."
Sunday, December 9, 2012
I don’t know you. The only thing I know about you is, you’re reading this. I don’t know whether you’re happy or not; I don’t know whether you’re young or not. I sort of hope you’re young and sad. If you’e old and happy, I can imagine that you’ll maybe smile to yourself when you hear me going, He broke my heart. You’ll remember someone who broke your heart, and you’ll think to yourself, Oh yes, I can remember how that feels. But you can’t, you smug old git. Oh, you might remember feeling sort of pleasantly sad. You might remember listening to music and eating chocolates in your room, or walking along the Embankment on your own, wrapped up in a winter coat and feeling lonely and brave. But can you remember how with every mouthful of food it felt like you were biting into your own stomach? Can you remember the taste of red wine as it came back up and into the toilet bowl? Can you remember dreaming every night that you were still together, that he was talking to you gently and touching you, so that every morning you had to go through it all over again? Can you remember carving his initials into your arm with a kitchen knife? Can you remember standing too close to the edge of an Underground platform? No? Well, fucking shut up, then. Stick your smile up your soggy old arse.
A Long Way Down, Nick Hornby
Saturday, November 10, 2012
adventures in homogay
Me: Wha- What’s going on? Why are you licking my face?
Amy: BECAUSE I CAN.
Amy: Who is that person? Is she a lesbian?
Me: It’s Tumblr, everyone’s a lesbian.
Amy: No! I’m not a lesbian!
Me: Are you on Tumblr?
Amy: … Yes.
Me: There you go, then.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Look, just so we’re clear, if somebody asks something or says something about my sister that I don’t like, understand that I will break a bottle over their head.
Andy Wachowski, in the first press interview after Lana came out as transgender. (via ladonnapietra)
Sunday, October 7, 2012
The Witch in fact alarmed her a little. It was not just the novelty of seeing her again, but that strange charisma Elphaba possessed, which had always put Glinda in the shade. Also there was that thrill, basis indeterminable, which made Glinda shy, and caused her to rush her words, and to speak in a false high voice like an adolescent. How quickly you could be thrown back to the terrible uncertainty of your youth!
For when she chose to remember her youth at all, she could scarcely dredge up an ounce of recollection about that daring meeting with the Wizard. She could recall far more clearly how she and Elphie had shared a bed on the road to the Emerald City. How brave that had made her feel, and how vulnerable too.
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
Thursday, September 13, 2012
“Graham Chapman, co-author of the “Parrot Sketch”, is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He’s kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky. And I guess that we’re all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, of such capability for kindness, of such unusual intelligence, should now so suddenly be spirited away at the age of only forty-eight, before he’d achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before he’d had enough fun. Well, I feel that I should say: nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard, I hope he fries. And the reason I feel I should say this is he would never forgive me if I didn’t, if I threw away this glorious opportunity to shock you all on his behalf. Anything for him, but mindless good taste.” - John Cleese
I am watching The Real L Word with Amy and Kiyomi just said something about “throwing in the bachelor towel.”
Amy: “But… what’s a bachelor towel?”
Me: “You know, it’s the towel you only use when you’re single. You have to throw it out when you start dating someone so you won’t rub the stank back onto yourself.”
Good Parenting: Exhibit 1 (overheard at work today)
Mommy, why is that man dressed like a lady?
That is a lady. She was just born with the wrong body.
How did that happen?
Nobody really knows. But she's working to fix it, and that's what's important.
Okay! *runs up to obviously self-conscious woman*
You look really pretty in your skirt!
*Kid skips back to her mom, and literally everyone in the vicinity smiles*