you, kant, always get what you want

State your name: Elliott.
State the name that your parents almost named you: They were going to name me Edward, I believe.  They were also going to name my older sister Edward.  And my little sister.  (I have a younger brother.  Guess what he’s called.)
Which of your relatives do you get along with the most?: In my extended family?  No one, really, because my mum’s family is in England and my dad’s family is intolerable.
Did anything embarrassing happen this week?: I fell asleep at work today, but that’s pretty much par for the course.
Do people praise you for your looks?: Only on the Internet, because then I can carefully choose the most flattering photographs.
What is your favorite color of clothing to wear?: Black and white horizontal stripes.
Do you like your eyes?: No, not really.  My dad has green eyes and I always wished I’d gotten those instead of blue.
Do you think you are pretty?: No, not really.
Are you single?: Engaged.
Do you want kids?: No.
What does your backpack look like?: It’s a black canvas satchel covered in pins, some of which are angry and political and some of which are funny.  Also there’s one of Louis from One Direction. I regret nothing very little.
What celebrity do you think is attractive?: I’m gonna take a page from Ari’s book and just say “look at my Tumblr.”
Last movie you saw: ahahaHAHAHAhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Showgirls 2: Penny’s From Heaven.  It was fucking amazeful.

(Source: yittk)

tiny-umbrella:

homofuck:

spookvogel:

caruncula:

acnebomb:

I GOT A 12 how did you get a 4 omg.

I got a 3. Okay so maybe I did put a ridiculous amount of effort into a silly color game, but I still beat you all and that’s what counts.

12

“Your score: 193 A lower score is better, with ZERO being the perfect score.”

this isn’t fair, i’m blind to begin with.

I actually got a 0. Neat!

8, woo!

(Source: bokura)

Cross off what you’ve done in 2012: 

Gotten a new piercing.
Dyed my hair.
Ended a relationship.
Started a new relationship.
Been on a long car/bus journey.
Passed an exam.
Met someone who’s now an important part of my life.
Cried on someone’s shoulder.
Had a massive fight with a boy/girl.
Received flowers.
Had a Valentine.
Written a letter using pen & paper.
Gone to see a therapist.
Been prescribed medication by a doctor.
Read a really good book.
Gone to the zoo.
Spent too much money on unnecessary things.
Traveled by train.
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Spent the day out in the sun getting a tan.
Slammed a door out of frustration.
Had an anxiety attack.
Babysat for a friend’s child.
Had a BBQ
Gone to the fair.
Gone bowling.
Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
Gone on a date. 
Been the only sober one on a night out.
Helped someone home after they had been drinking.
Stayed up all night.
Talked on the phone for over two hours.
Supported someone who’d received bad news.
Watched some kind of live sporting event.
Read an entire book in one day.
Bought a DVD the day it was released.
Eaten McDonald’s more than four times in a single week. 
Cried as a result of exam stress.
Met some incredible new people.
Gone to great parties.
Fallen backwards off a chair.
Broken my glasses.
Worn a watch for the first time in years.
Cried over someone in my past.
Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet.
Thrown up.
Cried over a film.
Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend.
Fought with someone in public.
Been in a relationship for a year or longer. 
Cried in front of someone I adore.
Lost one of my closest friends.

(Source: i-have-derived)

therotund:

TAG. YOU’RE IT. The rules are to state 10 random facts about yourself. Then, go to your ten favorite blogs and tell them that they are it.

I tag no one and everyone. Because I can.

1. One of my favourite story-telling tropes is “lonely child makes strange friend.”
2. My very first fandom, way back when I was twelve or so, was Digimon.  An innocent Yahoo search (this was before Google, or at least before Google for me personally) turned up a few fansites, I started browsing, learned what fanfiction was, and promptly started writing it.  (A Mary-Sue was involved.)  I initially shipped only canon het pairings, weirdly- I was a really homophobic kid and it took me a while to get into slash.  Once I did, I shipped Ruka/Juri.  To this day it is still the only anime I’ve ever gotten hardcore into, even though I went through a stupid weeaboo phase during which everyone was whatever-chan or blahblah-kun.
3. I was in French Immersion from seventh grade onward, but missed getting my Immersion certificate by one course.  (That’s what comes of hanging out with stoners in your senior year.)  At this point my French has deteriorated to the point that it’s barely even conversational, but every now and again I think of trying to get a certificate of bilingualism anyway.
4. My first tattoo (the umbrella on my upper back) was originally a relationship tattoo, taken from the song “The Aspidistra Flies” by Stars (“all the umbrellas in London couldn’t hide my love for you”).  I was with the girl for over two years when I got it.  About a month later, we broke up.  That is why you don’t get relationship tattoos.
5. I skipped kindergarten, not because I was particularly smart, but because I was lucky enough to have a parent at home who had the patience to teach me to read and write.  On my first day of school I demonstrated those skills to an administrator (by drawing and labelling a picture of “a bay and a gal chassing a dog”) and was put in first grade.  This was in many ways a mistake, as I was so poorly socialized at that point that I threw a temper tantrum in the cafeteria on my second day (because it was too loud and I didn’t like it) and stayed out on the playground through two lunch periods on my third (because I didn’t know that the bell meant I was supposed to go in).
6. I changed my name legally because I’ve always liked “Elliott” way more than my birth name, but when people at work ask about it I always spin fabulous yarns about how my parents were expecting a boy and then just didn’t want to think up a girl’s name.  It’s not even close to true, and I don’t really know why I bother lying other than because making up stories is kind of my jam.
7. My family’s always kept cats, but when I was ten my parents buckled under the constant nagging and let me get a dog.  He was a boxer/American Staffordshire mix named Magoo who we rescued from the SPCA.  He’d been abused, so he was very gentle and timid and sweet, and you had to be careful not to raise your voice around him or he’d start shivering.  He was pretty much my best friend in the world until my last year of high school, when we had to put him down.  I still question that “had to,” because I’m still not sure if he was as sick as my mother said he was, and sometimes I worry he blamed me for letting him die.
8. My all-time number one fear, likely fueled by too many Spielberg movies with my dad, is alien abduction.  I can’t even watch E.T. when I’m alone, and I feel really guilty about that because E.T.’s a good alien.
9. When I was four we lived in a really rough part of Dartmouth, close to a halfway house, what may have been a brothel, and a couple of crack dens.  There were also students living on the other side of our wall, and one night they were so noisy my mother and sister and I couldn’t get to sleep.  This made her very angry, so the next morning she turned all our speakers to the wall, blasted Michael Jackson, and told us to make as much noise as we could so they couldn’t get to sleep either.  We were even allowed to jump on the bed!  Most exciting day of my life up to that point.
10. I have been a vegetarian for about two years now, but I still miss steak.

I tag you.  Yes, you.

Strike out everything you’ve done.

• Had Beer
• Smoked an entire cigarette
• Done drugs
• Written on a bathroom wall
• Read a George Orwell book
• Had a physical fight
• Used Twitter
• Listened to Lady Gaga
• Been in a car accident
• Gotten suspended
• Gotten expelled
• Been allergic to something
• Got a computer virus
• Touched a real gun
• Had a dog
• Had a cat
• Been pregnant
• Camped out
• Swam in the ocean
• Wore a bikini
• Driven a car
• Been sent to the principal
• Ever liked someone
• Failed a class
• Failed a test
• Went to summer school
• Got worse than a D
• Got As, Bs and Cs
• Read an entire book
• Recorded my own music
• Had an xbox
• Worn heels more than 3 days in a row
• Wore fishnets
• Wore skinny jeans 
• Hated someone
• Been cheated on
• Cheated on someone
• Practised Christianity/Catholicism
• Worn make-up
• Lied to my parents about where I was going
• Had surgery
• Had my license
• Been to college
• Graduated high school
• Attempted suicide
• Self harmed
• Worn coloured contacts
• Painted my nails black
• Broken someone’s heart
• Had my heart broken
• Cried for an hour straight
• Lost something very valuable
• Got separated from one of my parents as a kid
• Broke a bone
• Gotten stung by a bee
• Eaten something bad/expired
• Threw up from being so drunk
• Saw someone throw up from being so drunk
• Danced with someone of the same sex
• Owned an iPod
• Danced with someone of the opposite sex
• Owned an iPhone
• Fell for a best friend
• Stole a friend’s significant other
• Went far away from home for more than a week 
• Moved out
• Ran away
• Had a job
• Been fired
• Lied to a friend
• Lied to a family member
• Had a Facebook
• Posted a video on Youtube
• Started a rumour about someone
• Talked bad about someone
• Dropped out of school
• Deliberately failed a test
• Been skinny dipping
• Counted to a million
• Counted to a thousand
• Ate rabbit meat
• Ate duck meat
• Had fast food
• Been to Church
• Been to Canada
• Been married
• Had a divorce
• Broke a glass
• Hugged someone today
• Texted someone today
• Received a phone call today
• Threw something out of the window
• Ignored a text from someone on purpose
• Wish you were somebody else
• Had my feelings hurt by a friend and never told them
• Kissed someone
• Been to a concert
• Seen your favourite band live
• Met a celebrity
• Met your favourite band
• Own more than 10 CDs

sharpestrose:

wecanspooky:

scaryghostbobie:

feferis-death-rattle:

mercy-misrule:

alittledavespritetoldme:

I got 35 too and I’m 22. what. 

I got 12. Welp. It’s only 14 years off? Now I am off to ride my tricycle to the playground.

46 Years Old

You’re 46 years old! You are smack dab in the middle of your mid-life crisis. You aren’t sure if the decisions you’ve made up to this point were the best ones, and you have no idea what you want for the future. You have the sinking feeling that you’ve made a mistake (or more) in the way you’ve been living your life, so you set out to find whatever it is you’re lacking. Whether that be making an impulse purchase on a motorcycle or deciding to quit your job, you’re ready for something new. Hang in there; your friends and family are there to help you through this difficult time!

I’M 24 :(

46 Years Old

You’re 46 years old! You are smack dab in the middle of your mid-life crisis. You aren’t sure if the decisions you’ve made up to this point were the best ones, and you have no idea what you want for the future. You have the sinking feeling that you’ve made a mistake (or more) in the way you’ve been living your life, so you set out to find whatever it is you’re lacking. Whether that be making an impulse purchase on a motorcycle or deciding to quit your job, you’re ready for something new. Hang in there; your friends and family are there to help you through this difficult time!

10.6% of people that have taken this quiz have achieved this result.

im 20

5 Years Old

You’re 5 years old! You are really a kid at heart, and you love riding your bike, playing video games, and goofing off with your friends. The serious issues of the world aren’t even on your radar. You just want to have fun and not get picked on! You are a healthy, happy kid with the world at your fingertips. Keep your positive, youthful attitude as long as you can!

im 20

oh no

99 Years Old

You’re 99 years young! You’ve lived a long and fulfilling life, and you’re ready to enjoy some much-needed rest. Because of your long life, you are very wise, respected, and knowledgeable, able to give important advice about life to your loved ones. Even though your health isn’t at its best, you know that it’s important to avoid dwelling on the negative. Make each day count, because you never know how much time you have left!

1.8% of people that have taken this quiz have achieved this result.

I’M THIRTY.

what the heck

35 Years Old

You’re 35 years old! You are a full-fledged adult who grows more mature with every day. You’ve got a steady job and strong relationships, all of which you take very seriously! Though you are at an age where many people settle down and start families, you are still a bit nervous about that prospect. Even if you’ve had kids of your own, you still aren’t quite sure when you became old enough, or responsible enough, to handle them! Even so, you enjoy your life and look forward to what the future has in store.

12.1% of people that have taken this quiz have achieved this result.

:| i am twenty three :||||||

(Source: heyfunniest)

golden-zephyr:

sallyjessyrofl:

acornfuckinghall:

Martina

Beautiful. Fun to be around. Great in bed. The best girl ever. Strong, can fight. A great friend. and someone you want to get to know.

A girl who is awesome in every way, can be shy at times and crazy (especially when she is sugar high) the next, but is always a fun person to be around. She likes to make lists and keep everything in order. She loves to be creative with her stories she writes, and takes too many photos on her camera. She loves to hang out with a group of friends at all times. Reading is her favorite pastime, and she barely ever misses a tv show. You will never regret ever meeting a Laura. She likes to keep everything in order, and makes sure everythings in its place, except not really :). She loves to make up one syllable words and languages out of these words. Her favorite number is 4 and she is really good at remembering numbers. Best Traits: can keep secrets when she wants to, can always cheer people and friends up, knows the right moment when a friends in need.

This is actually me. I’m a bit scared.

That name isn’t defined yet.

I guess that’s true of me too…