One time I got really really stoned and thought I lost my wallet and then I found it in the refrigerator.
The missus and I are thinking of moving to Montreal at some point in the nearish future, so I’m looking into the relative availability of library jobs there. Unfortunately, since their library school is in English, it looks like my best bet re: employment would be at a French library, and my French is really, really bad. (I was in Immersion for five years, but I wasn’t totally fluent then, and since graduating I’ve almost completely lost what little skill I had.)
I know people say you don’t need much French to get by in Montreal, but I feel like having to act out everything you say to patrons and peppering your reference interviews with comment dit-ons would really diminish my credibility as a librarian.
(I’m totally overthinking this, since we don’t even have any concrete plans to move yet. But hey, what’s 1AM for if not that.)
Things I meant to do this summer:
- Write a novel
- Save money
- Start teaching myself a language
- Read a lot of Very Important Books
- Get in shape
- Learn to walk in heels
Things I have actually done this summer:
- Screamed about fictional characters in my side blog
- Gone to the dentist
There’s a thing that happened a while ago. It’s a family thing, and it’s not something I can really discuss in any detail or something that seems likely to ever go away, but it’s making me really sad today. So if you could send, like, good vibes or nice thoughts or whatever in my general direction I’d really appreciate it.
meet the blogger
LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE
- name: Elliott.
- eye color: Blueish greenish greyish.
- hair style/color: Black, short, dorky emo bangs.
- height: 5’7”.
- clothing style: A lot of band T-shirts, cardigans, and boot-cut jeans.
- best physical feature: I’ve gotten the most compliments on my eyes and (bizarrely) my back.
LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- your fears: ALIENS. I’m sure I have others, but that’s so big it kind of crowds out everything else.
- your guilty pleasure: Reading fanfiction at work, buying four-packs of Popeye Candy Sticks and eating them all in under five minutes, terrible movies, never exercising.
- ambitions for the future: Finish grad school, get a library job, eventually publish at least one novel.
LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- your first thoughts waking up: Nooooooooo.
- what you think about most: Food. Dogs.Ladies.
- what you think about before bed: ”I can totally stay up for another fifteen minutes or so. That’s fine. I definitely won’t be tired tomorrow.”
- you think your best quality is: Maybe that when I’m into something I get very enthusiastic and passionate about it? I don’t actually know, though, I’m never good at answering that question.
LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?
- single or group dates: Single, unless you’re good friends with the other people. Or, I guess, unless you’re dating all the people simultaneously.
- to be loved or respected: You can’t really love someone without respecting them.
- beauty or brains: Brains, because then if you’re savvy enough you can trick people into thinking you’re attractive.
- dogs or cats: I’m more accustomed to keeping cats, but “OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE DOG” is basically my catchphrase when I’m out in public.
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU.
- lie: Oh Lord, so much. I feel like that’s kind of a side effect of growing up a compulsive peacemaker in a big, slightly dysfunctional family, because there are so many people you want to make happy.
- believe in yourself: I exist.
- believe in love: Of course.
- want someone: Nope.
LAYER SIX: EVER?
- been on stage: Not since the school musical in fourth grade! (It was The Wizard of Oz. I was a Winkie, a Munchkin, a poppy, and a snowflake. Costume changes were minimal.)
- done drugs: Yes, but not many.
- changed who you were to fit in: See above re: lying. Also I was popular for like ten minutes in fourth grade (before I had an intense falling out with the in crowd regarding Ginger Spice leaving the Spice Girls), and that involved a lot of ridiculous posturing and pretending to care about flavoured lip gloss.
LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- favorite color: Black, wine red, peacock green.
- favorite animal: Elephants!
- favorite movie: Velvet Goldmine forever and always, no matter how many epiphanies about how objectively crappy it is I have.
- favorite game: Never Have I Ever (if this question is not actually about drinking games I no longer care about it).
LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- day your next birthday will be: 2014/11/02.
- how old will you be: 26. But I prefer to think of it as the first anniversary of my twenty fifth birthday.
So last night I was so nerved up and excited about my new job that I couldn’t sleep very well.
Which means that this morning I nodded off while being told how to digitally file business cards.
Luckily, the girl who was training me just laughed and asked if I wanted to go get coffee instead of sending me back to the trash heap from whence I came.
describe your aesthetic in four words go
KEEP GOING THIS IS GOLDEN
I LOVE THIS GENERATION SO MUCH
Mermaid Pierrot Murder Femme
sad bird dating sims
still likes bright eyes
- What are your favourite smells? Fresh coffee, cut grass, clean laundry, winter and melting snow.
- Can you go a whole day without caffeine? I can, but I choose not to. Also I get kind of weepy.
- Who knows more about you than anyone else? Probably lesbianloversofmiami?
- What song did you last listen to? "Problem" by Natalia Kills.
- Do you have a crush on anybody? Unless you count my unfortunate backslide into pseudo-heterosexuality regarding Sebastian Stan’s stupid potato face, no.
- Do you like The Beatles? They are my Facebook “it’s complicated.”
- If you could choose one color to wear for a whole year, what color would you choose? Probably blue.
- Do you cook often? Not as often as I used to. I work with food right now so I pretty much hate looking at it. Also, I’m lazy.
- What was the last film you watched? Did you like it? A terrible British horror film called Exorcismus, in which a girl is possessed and her exorcist keeps NOT FINISHING THE DAMN EXORCISM.
- Can you sew? For Family Studies in seventh grade we had to make stuffed animals. I chose a little grey cat. Its nose ended up on its forehead.
- What is your favourite fruit? Cantaloupe, red grapes, and apples that manage to be crisp and sweet at the same time. And clementines.
- Do you curse a lot? I’m on the Internet.
- When was the last time you had a pint of beer? An actual pint from a pub? No idea. Years ago at this point.
- Is there a certain food you often crave for no reason? Sushi. Always.
- What was the last book you purchased? His Conquering Sword by Kate Elliott, I think.
- Where was your last vacation? I went to Newfoundland for a few days last October to see my sister get married. But my last proper vacation was in 2002, when I went to England to visit my mum’s family.
- Do you shave your pits? Sometimes, sometimes not.
- When was the last time you went out without a bra? Probably like an hour ago, I am pretty gross.
- When was the last time you went shirtless in public? Ahahaha…. November 2nd, 2012. It was my birthday and I was very, very drunk.
- Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how did it happen? Never never! But I damaged my elbows pretty badly when I was in junior high and now they ache when it rains.
- How do you like your eggs? Egg salad all the way. Or deviled, but that’s too fancy for me to consistently manage.