Aww yis.
if i was x30 more kawaii this would be me (i’m so sorry i have a dollmaker type thing weakness)
i cannot resist dollmakers
Obviously the cat is Oscar and not Bells
Accurate.
… This may be the most accurate of these that I’ve done so far. Look how awkward.
(Source: nanihoo)
well huh
I have been (informally) accepted to grad school.
:D
How To Be A Sexy Lesbian On The Internet, v.2.Random Dude’s Very Important Opinion
Once, many years ago, I was talking to a dude on the Internet who expressed disappointment in my profile picture.
“I don’t get why you dress that way,” said Dude. I had never met this gentleman before and had not asked him for his opinion regarding my wardrobe, so as you can imagine, I was eager to hear what he had to say. ”You’re a lesbian.* Doesn’t your girlfriend want you to wear, like, sexy underwear and stuff? You know, so you look hot? Like a sexy lesbian?”
I don’t remember what I said at the time. I do know what my response would be now, and that is, “Bro, you don’t even know.”
What I am wearing here is a sexy lounging bathrobe so I don’t get cold while I complete sexy lesbian tasks, such as feeding the cats or trying to compose clever Facebook statuses. This is, in fact, a traditional sexy lesbian costume, complete with a little black hat that conceals bedhead while also making me look like a dick. (Note the sexy layered cardigan and sexy striped tee, sexy lesbian staple pieces!)
Just a sexy lesbian, sittin’ in a squashy chair, chillin’ after a long day of being a sexy lesbian at the office. Am I wearing a bra here? Do I own a bra? Have I ever even SEEN a bra? You can’t even tell, all the sexy’s getting in the way.
You know I am getting all the ladies in this fly robe. All of them.
Also part of the sexy lesbian costume: comfy jeans that haven’t been washed in, like, a week? Maybe. Maybe more than that, it is hard to keep track of mundane things like laundry when you are busy being a sexy lesbian. (It is not, however, hard to find time to go to stores meant for preteens and buy multiple pairs of colourful ankle socks. God bless you, Ardene’s.)
But of course, no sexy lesbian is ever seen in public without the all-important sexy lesbian “come hither” look.
And now I have to go be a sexy lesbian with my girlfriend. We are probably gonna watch Bob’s Burgers or something. SO HOT.
* NB: I am, technically speaking, a genderqueer femmeish-presenting FAAB person exclusively attracted to women** but you know what? It is hard enough to make Dudes On The Internet understand that lesbians are not women who fuck them and their girlfriends. There are some things I ain’t willing to take the time to explain.
** And Ezra Miller.***
*** But I still wouldn’t do him.****
**** Probably.
Today I worked an eight hour shift, got groceries, did dishes, mopped, bathed three cats (reactions: confusion, homicide, ET TU BRUTE), put out the garbage, and did two loads of laundry.
I have totally earned the right to sit around growing my ass and wasting time on Tumblr for the rest of the night.
alternabrat problems
I dyed my hair blue black the other day. This is what it looks like.
(Also, I am trying to smile more in pictures so I don’t look like grumpy or tragic, but I find when I smile AND look at the camera I tend to look like a very excited axe murderer. So I tend to do the smile/lookaway combo. I look happy, but not in that way where I’m going to wear your face as a hat.)
personal tattoo crap
I finally got my umbrella tattoo fixed yesterday night! It’s been kind of wonky since I got it done about four years ago (I went to a pretty sketchy artist because I was a dumbass newbie), and I’ve been feeling really self-conscious about it. It still looks a little off, because there was only so much the artist could do to fix the original design, but it’s still a huge relief to get it fixed.
today is my birthday!
I have had sushi and reread The Homeward Bounders (two of my birthday traditions) and am now watching Monty Python’s Quest For The Holy Grail (a third). And I got the first season of Community. Life = excellent.
work related crazies
Because I need everyone on Tumblr to see my face: here is what I look like! My hair is blue now. It’s neat, albeit inconvenient.
singing dancing magical homosocial boy world: about me
LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Elliott
- Eye Color: Blue or green, depending on the light and what colour my hair is.
- Hair Style/Color: Red, short, angled bangs, in need of colour and a trim.
- Height: 5’7.
- Clothing style: A mix of business casual and affable ruffian.
- Best physical feature: I think my eyes and my back are the things I get the most compliments on. I don’t know why my back is so damn alluring, but I’ll take any compliments I can get.
LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: Being a failure.
- Ambitions for the future: Move back to NS, get into grad school and get my MLIS, start working as a librarian, get published.
LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: WHYYY
- What you think about most: All the books I want to write, associated hopes and anxieties associated with that.
- What you think about before bed: ”Oh, God, why did I go to bed so late. Nine thirty tomorrow night or else.”
- You think your best quality is: iI just asked Amy and she said “your ass. No, your boobs!” So I guess my best quality is my ability to tolerate how readily my romantic partners objectify me.
LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?
- Single or group dates: Single. Group dates have this weird competitive thing going on a lot of the time, like all the couples are just tying to prove to one another that their relationships are happy and functional instead of having a good time.
- To be loved or respected: Respected. Love comes cheap.
- Beauty or brains: Brains. If you’re smart enough you can trick people into thinking you’re pretty.
- Dogs or cats: I am more suited to cats temperament-wise, but I do love dogs.
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: Constantly.
- Believe in yourself: I know I exist, yes.
- Believe in love: Yes.
- Want someone: No.
LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: In fourth grade! I was in a school production of The Wizard of Oz. I was a Winkie, a Poppy, a Snowflake, and an Emerald City…ian.
- Done drugs: Yes.
- Changed who you were to fit in: Fourth grade again. Also several relationships. Comes of being terminally insecure and desperately eager to please.
LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favorite color: Dark jewel tones, especially blue and peacock green.
- Favorite animal: Elephants!
- Favorite movie: Velvet Goldmine.
- Favorite game: Make believe?
LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday will be: Friday November 2nd!
- Age you lost your virginity: 17, first year of college.
- Does age matter: For dating, yes, because if you pretend it doesn’t someone’s gonna end up in jail. Otherwise, sometimes.
LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality: Funny, kind, passionate.
- Best eye color: I tend to go for brown eyes, but my fiance’s are blue and they are very beautiful.
- Best hair color: My fave is always “unnatural and obnoxious.”
- Best thing to do with a partner: Sushi, bad movies, and tomfoolery.
LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: flying.
- I feel: exhausted.
- I hide: from my Needs boss when she wants me to fill a shift.
- I miss: my mum even though I saw her this morning because now I won’t see her for like a year.
- I wish: I was in school right now.
(Source: languidcrow)
What your URL's anagram name?
sunspeared —> SANE PRUDES.
A+
paraTactician —> A PATRICIAN CAT.
interests: sleeping in warm places, managing the affairs of Ankh-Morpork with terrifying precision
Okay, so it tried to give me ON SHARP ULCER, which is pants. Here, let me try:
prunescholar -> RANCOUR HELPS.
emilyenrose -> MERELY NOISE
Yes accurate.
marthur -> ARM HURT
It didn’t have much to work with, to be fair. So I tried my full real name and got “WARM POLITEST HARLOT” (seems… legit…?)
acrossthefloors -> SO SOFTER SCHOLAR
…which I rather like, actually.
aeromachia -> CIAO! A HAREM
Cryptohomorocker’s anagram name is CROOK TO MERRY CHOP
Well alright then.
(Source: astudyinobjection)
good afternoon, time for some gender blah blah
not entirely complete list of tattoos i want
- the face that Hedwig has tattooed on her at the end of Hedwig and the Angry Inch (right hip)
- a matryoshka doll (left side)
- a cassette with the tape coming out spelling out “fade away never” (right side)
- a pair of flying crows (right below my collarbone)*
- the words “noli me tangere” (left upper arm)
- the words “tension” and “terror” (back of left and right arms, just above the elbows)
- some kind of half-sleeve- I’d need to get this designed for me because I’m still not sure what I want, but I have this sort of half-formed idea about a tangle of vines and flowers growing out of a broken clock (right upper arm)
- a Proginoskes (location unknown)
- (possibly?) a Calvin and Hobbes tattoo (location unknown, this is more of a silly whim than anything)
* This one worries me because I’ve had the design more or less chosen for about three years but Amy recently told me it looks like a ripoff of Native American crow art and whoaaaa so don’t want to be that dude.
